11 December, 2007

You Might Be a Chained Sheep If....

When I talked in my last post about chained sheep, I was picturing something very specific. ~100 sheep all chained around the ankles to at least two other sheep. Some of them I picture with the chains on different forelegs, others on the same foreleg, some on front and rear legs, but all of them rattling every time they move. And I picture this one poor sheep out in front of the rest, with a chain on his back leg pulled as tight as he can stand it, pulling with his other three legs in the direction of the best food he can see, bleating his true little heart out.

And none of the sheep knows about the chains.

I figured it might be important to tell those sheep how to know whether they were actually chained. You know, kind of as a PSA. With that in mind....

You Might Be a Chained Sheep If....

+ Someone keeps selling you on how nice it is to be outside during the driving rain, instead of in that boring, old, warm sheepfold.

+ Everything seems to work exactly the same whether the Shepherd is around or not.

+ The view never changes. It's always that same fuzzy butt.

+ The grass looks greener about 3 feet away, but your foot is headed the other direction and you must follow.

+ The local wolves have thick, shiny coats even though they've completely forgotten how to run.

+ You sing "Trust and Obey" or "That's the Sound of the Lambs Working on the Chain Gang" a lot.

+ The "voice of the Shepherd" bleats remarkably like your own voice.

+ You keep trying to figure out what the Shepherd actually needs with the grass you keep giving as a "love offering."

+ Whenever you pass another flock of sheep, you notice none of them come over to visit. You don't notice that none of your flock goes over to visit them.

+ You find gamboling about excitedly disturbs everyone else you're chained to.

+ Almost everything else in your life is more exciting than trudging out with the flock to be fed again.

4 comments:

Patchouli said...

This is priceless!Amen!

Missy said...

"It's always that same fuzzy butt."

Ha!

You've thought about this some, eh?

Andreia said...

Almost everything else in your life is more exciting than trudging out with the flock to be fed again

Amen brother!

Kansas Bob said...

This is so good CP.. I wish I could relate to some of these.. I wish it was ll Greek to me :)

I particularly like dthis one:

Everything seems to work exactly the same whether the Shepherd is around or not.

..just too real!